Spontaneous Combustion
by Blu Rose
Summary: "I used Satan's fire just to burn a porn manga." In which Yukio keeps his young nephew's mind pure…accidentally. In quite possibly the worst way. (Future-based fic featuring Uncle Yukio and nephew.Rated T for suggestive images.)(For Yukio Appreciation Week!)


**For Day 2 of Yukio Okumura appreciation week, which is supposed to be a favorite Yukio quote, here's a fic inspired by my favorite quote from Yukio. And in my defense, he technically **_**did**_** say it in a Blue Exorcist-related work, so it's **_**technically**_** a Yukio quote. Plus, after the last Yukio fic, I needed to do something less…angst-ridden. I'm expecting it to be out of character this time, because…comedy.**

_Disclaimer: Blu Rose does not own the Blue Exorcist series. She only owns this fic._

_Summary: "I used Satan's fire just to burn a porn manga." In which Yukio tries to keep his precious nephew's mind pure…accidentally. In quite possibly the worst way. (Future-based fic featuring Uncle Yukio and nephew.)_

**X-X-X**

Yukio paused in his work to take off his glasses and rub his eyes. He sighed and got up to get something to drink when he noticed his 4-year old nephew sleeping on the bed on the side of the room. With drool trailing down the side of his face, he looked the spitting image of his father. Since his sister-in-law was at work and his brother was off on a mission, Yukio had been asked to look after little Kazuki—at least until his mother was finished. Ordinarily, he'd ask Shiemi to help him with babysitting since she always seemed to be better with kids, but the blonde woman was also away on a mission, meaning he had to take on the task alone.

Babysitting was something that the half-demon brunette considered daunting. Not because Kazuki was a troublesome child, but because Yukio couldn't help but feel awkward around him. He didn't really consider himself good with little kids, so whenever he was asked to look after his nephew, a part of Yukio dreaded it.

When Yukio returned to the room with a glass of water, Kazuki was just waking up. The boy sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Are you finished, Uncle Yukio?"

"Afraid not." Kazuki sighed and fell back down on the bed. "…You know, you don't have to stay inside. You could go outside and play."

"But Mommy said that I'm s'posed stay near you."

"It should be fine. Just don't wander off too far and stay out of trouble." The blue-haired child's eyes seemed to shine before he jumped off the bed, hugged Yukio's leg and ran out the room with a quick _'thank you'_. The brunette man approached his desk and put down the glass. "Hopefully he'll listen to me and not get into trouble…"

**X-X-X**

Minutes later, Kazuki ran into the room looking excited. "Hey, Uncle Yukio! Look at what I found outside!"

"Hm?" Yukio looked away from the schoolwork he was checking over and looked down at Kazuki.

"I found a book outside!" His nephew exclaimed proudly as he held a book out in front of him. "I think it's a manga!"

The spectacled man barely glanced at the manga's cover and instead gave the blue-haired boy a look. "Outside _where_? It might belong to someone." The last thing he wanted was for Kazuki to learn how to start stealing while he was babysitting him.

"I found it in the hall. Nobody was around, so I called finders' keepers! That means it's _mine_! …Right?" The blue-haired boy said with a pout.

Yukio stared at him silently for a few seconds before he shrugged. "I suppose so." At least for now. If the person who owned the manga came searching around for it, he'd convince the boy to give it back. "But you can barely read. There's no point in keeping something that's above your reading level."

"Mommy or Daddy reads manga to me when they're at home…" Kazuki continued to pout before his eyes brightened. "You can read it to me, Uncle Yukio! Pleeeease?"

Yukio bit the inside of his cheek. He'd been exposed to this sort of behavior from Rin many times—even when he was still an adult—so he could manage to say _'no'_ to the child despite their cutest efforts. Of course, there was a brief desire to make him happy…but the exorcist's other responsibilities came first. "Not right now. I still have work to do." Just like Rin, after popping his bubble, the boy huffed and folded his arms across his chest. Sighing, Yukio placed his hands on the boy's head. "But when I'm finished, I'll read it for you."

That immediately cheered the blue-haired boy up. "M'kay! I'll look at the pictures I guess."

As the children sat down, Yukio looked back down at his students' worksheets. It would hopefully keep the child entertained and occupied until he was finished.

**X-X-X**

When the final school paper was graded, Yukio slipped it inside of a folder. He stretched his arms and looked over his shoulder at Kazuki. He was surprised to find the blue-haired boy still looking over the manga, even though all he was doing was looking at the pictures. He got up and approached the child. "Still want me to read to you?"

"U-um… Yes." The brunette man sat down on the edge of the bed next to his nephew, who flipped back through the manga's pages. "Um…um… Here! Start here!" Kazuki handed the book over and began to lean on Yukio.

"Alright… After all this time, I didn't think it would happen. She always seemed to be like an impossible goal, always beyond my reach. But now, things have changed. I don't know exactly where we stand now, but the night I spent with Mana-san is still fresh in my mind." Yukio paused as he stared at the words on the page. "I think this is a romance story… Are you sure you want to hear this?" He didn't think any boy Kazuki's age wanted to hear about love stories.

"Yeah, yeah! I wanna know what they say when they're makin' those funny faces!"

Yukio arched an eyebrow. He turned to the next page and almost dropped the book in shock. The next page was filled with various scenes of a couple in bed. Naked. Seemingly after having sex. The thought bubbles of whoever was narrating the scene were the only things blocking any sort of indecent appearance. _'This is one of __**those**__ manga, I see…'_ " How the hell was he supposed to explain that the people in the comic were having _sex_?! He didn't even know what sex _was_!

Kazuki looked down at the page, ignoring the fact that his uncle was clenching it tightly. "Those aren't the funny faces I was talking about…" He flipped through the pages of the book until he ended on another two-page picture. In it, the man and woman were in a…_suggestive_ sexual position, their faces contorted into expressions of lewd ecstasy. "_These_ are the funny faces! So…what're they saying, Uncle Yukio? Something about playing leap frog? 'Cuz they're kinda doin' it wrong."

Around that point, Yukio blacked out mentally speaking. All he could think about was how Rin would react when he learned that he exposed his only child to an adult manga. Not to mention how this would shape the child's mentality later on in life. He wished the godforsaken book would just _disappear_.

"UWAAAH! FIRE, FIRE!"

The sound of Kazuki's panicked voice brought Yukio out of it. He looked down, surprised to see bright blue flames surrounding it. The half-demon dropped it and stared as the blue flames quickly engulfed the book, dissipating only when it was burned to ashes. Yukio sat in slack-jawed awe. Did that really happen? Did he just subconsciously set a porn manga on fire? In front of his 4-year old nephew? Oh, Lord…!

"Uncle Yukio? What just happened to the manga?" Said nephew asked, wearing a dumbfounded expression.

Right. Kazuki knew about demons and that his father and uncle were part-demon, but he didn't exactly know about the flames they inherited from Satan. That meant that Yukio could get away with it. All he had to do was tell a little lie. "It appears to have spontaneously combusted." That was technically true, since he didn't really _mean_ for that to happen. It was a subconscious desire that Yukio didn't think would come true in the form of that dirty book burning to cinders.

"Huh? Whazzat?"

Yukio adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "It means that the manga just…burst into flames. It can happen, but it's actually quite rare." That was also true technically. There were some cases when items or people possessed by certain demons that utilized fire were unable to handle it and spontaneously combusted.

"Ooooh~! That's so cool!" Kazuki exclaimed with large eyes and a wide smile. For some odd reason, his uncle expected that. "I wanna see something else spoon…spawn…uh…"

"Spontaneously combust. And spontaneous combustion means it just happens for seemingly no reason. You might never see it happen again." Hopefully. At least not until the boy was old enough to be told the truth.

"Wow! I can't wait to tell Mommy and Daddy about this!"

His uncle flinched at the mention of the boys' parents. If they heard about what happened, especially Rin, they'd make a connection and probably never let Yukio forget it. "Actually, it's better that you don't." When Kazuki made a questioning sound, he continued, "Your parents would probably be angry because you were so close to a fire, and they'd probably punish you for it."

Kazuki gulped and he got a frightened expression. "R-r-really? Um…y-you won't tell 'em, right, Uncle Yukio?"

The brunette half-demon smiled and shook his head. "I won't tell a soul." More for his own sake than the child's, he was sad to admit. "Anyway, since I'm finished with my work now, I can take you out somewhere."

"Can we go for ice cream?"

"Mm-hm."

"Yay!" The blue-haired child cheered. It was amazing how easily he forgot seeing an adult manga and then watching said manga burst into blue flames.

"Just let me clean this up first and we can leave," Yukio said as he got up and left the room. He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath and message his temples. "I used Satan's fire just to burn a porn manga…in front of a _child_, no less. I don't think even _Rin's_ done something so stupid and reckless…"

**X-X-X**

"ACHOO!" Rin sneezed just as he stabbed a large, mushroom-like demon in its blood red cap. Blue flames immediately consumed it, burning its body and the spores it released to prevent more of the little bastards from appearing. "Aw, great. Stupid fungus has got me sneezing. Didn't even know I had an allergy…"

**X-X-X**

**So the line "I just used Satan's fire to burn a porn manga" comes from the Blue Exorcist spinoff comic "Salaryman Exorcist: The Sorrows of Yukio Okumura". For those who've never read it, it's a gag manga series. What is wrong with me when the only Blue Exorcist quotes I can remember are the funny ones?**

**Also, in all honesty, I am still not sure whether or not Yukio's awakened his demon side or not in my little fan-made future, so this may or may not be ignored in future fics.**


End file.
